Majboor

So yesterday I had the kind of day where you want to shoot puppies and then curl up into a corner and cry. But I have recently stolen my PP’s tablet with a Spuul connection, so I decided to vent my frustration by watching a movie instead. And boy oh boy did I strike gold. Majboor, starring Amitabh, Parveen Babi and the criminally underutilised Pran, is brilliant. Has an innovative plot, intelligent dialogues (and Social Commentary!), a Maa who doesn’t keep weeping in a corner, and of course, ‘morning walk’ outfits like this:

Ravi Khanna is an intelligent, urbane travel agent, with a peppy girlfriend, a loving family, and token apahij behen, who is full of sunshine and light. But then he finds out he has a brain tumour (!), which if operated on could paralyse him or turn him mentally unstable.

Here you have the brain tumour face:

Realising his responsibilities, he does what anyone would do. Implicates himself in the crime in which he was a witness so that he can get the reward money. Mind you, he could have implicated ANYONE ELSE, but he chose to implicate himself. He strews clues around, which are analysed by this Platonic Ideal of a detective:

 

He confesses, goes to jail (I don’t quite know what happened to the 5L reward money), has a brain tumour ka daura, is operated on and is healed! Now he must extricate himself from this mess. So he escapes tight police security (by being towed away on a stretcher!), goes to his girlfriend’s house to mull over a plan of action. They decide…to run away to Khandala! Where they run into a man who knows Ravi – who is also a henpecked man who married his wife for her money and now gets beaten up by her at parties), and who is wearing  THE DEAD MAN’S RING!

 

Cool shenanigans lead them to Michael (who sings the plaintive song, “Daaru ki botal mein, Sahib paani bharta hai, phir kehta hai ki Michael, peeke danga karta hai”. What pathos), who for no real reason whatsoever, swears on Christ to help out the stricken Khanna family. He also has a takiyakalaam/memory device:

The show-down happens, and includes a ridiculous plot point where Michael must point his gun at the villain to stop him from escaping, and the heroine helps him – by throwing water on him to keep him awake. Instead of, you know, taking the gun to point it at the villain.

I’d give this movie all the stars in the world, were it not for two imperfections:

1. Michael gets killed off for like, no discernible reason! They got the doctor to him, they could totes have saved him, but they just had to ruin a random but great story arc.
2. The apahij behen belied my expectations and did not, in fact, miraculously get up from the wheelchair and start walking. But Farida Jalal was delightful, so I’ll let it pass.

Ultimately, though you see it coming a mile away, you still end up loving this film. Because really, what’s not to love.

Amar Akbar Anthony style shaadi

People might say that I have a slight obsession with Amar Akbar Anthony. These people would probably be correct.

So today I was chatting with a friend (who has a new shoe blog!) about girly things when this brilliant idea struck me. An Amar Akbar Anthony (hereinafter, AAA) themed wedding! Its salient features would be as follows:

– You know how modern shaadis have all this, “no gifts please, donate to the charity of our choice” thing? Well, screw that. When you enter the marriage hall, you have to donate blood to the blood bank – a true and deep gesture. And it goes with the spirit – and the starting of the film.

– Everyone knows the groom needs to enter in style. If you can find a monocle, and a man who can speak English fast enough, what better entry, than this? (Juxtapose this with the revolving stage as seen on Band Baaja Baaraat).

– When it comes to dresses and themes, nothing is as rich as AAA. If your girlfriends are all chic, you can dress like Jenny. (That yellow dress with the slit? va va VOOM). If your family is the more conservative type, you can dress like Shabana Azmi did, with her dainty saaris and the pattivratta expressions. And if you like your comfort and intend to be prancing around a lot (no points for guessing which category I intend to belong to), you can always dress like feisty Salma. I don’t think enough has been written about the awesomeness of Neetu Singh in that movie.

– Did I hear you say sangeet? You can have it either small scale – with the one-man band, like Amar (must not digress to thinking about Amar. Oh Amar, you stud, you), or can go all out and do the jingbang a la Akbar, with the qawwaali and the costumed troupe doing co-ordinated dances behind you.

– Instead of mangalsutra, the groom would tie the necklace with the photo of Jai Santoshi Maa. Because if the locket has the power to bring a family of 8 together (ultimately, and not including the various adoptive parents), it sure can be strong enough to keep the union of two souls intact.

– And do I hear you say suhaag raat? Well, here you go:

 

(Sorry for the grainy quality; I had to take a screen grab from a YT video. But sigh. So yummy).

I’m sexy and I know it

Ooof.

Pran makes your arguments invalid

Yesterday was Pran saab’s 92nd birthday – and this post is just a way for me to talk about how much I admire the man. He shares the dubious distinction of being my favourite villain (with Ranjeet coming a close second); the sheer elegance and elan with which he pulls off his roles is reason enough to watch his films. Be it the irrepressible heartbreaker in Brahmachari, the loyal friend in Zanjeer, the defeated grandfather in Parichay or the thwarted villain in Tum Haseen Main Jawaan – it is impossible for me to pick a favourite role. I picked up Bunny Ruben’s book, “…and Pran”, a while ago, to read more about him, but apart from giving some interesting trivia, I found that the book was largely disappointing. Pran saab has such a versatile and multifaceted personality – apparently he even owns the Bombay Dynamos Football Club! – that I expected more pizzazz, I guess.

 

 

 

Perhaps my favourite Pran scene is from Guddi, where Dharmendra talks to Pran (both playing themselves), in an effort to show Jaya’s Guddi that there is a clear distinction between actors and the roles they portray. It is a lovely, lovely film – definitely in my top three favourite films of all time – and I recommend that anyone reading this goes and watches it.

Till then, I leave you with this image, which renders all your arguments invalid:

 

 

Ranjeet Warhol

Resplendent Ranjeet

 

It’s been an unfortunately long time since I posted. What better way to re-enter than this? (Original here)

Happy New Year!

 

 

 

May this year have loads more of Sonu Sood-like-hotness, great movies, great times with loved ones and yummy food. And Breezers.

 

 

Off is the general direction…

 

I saw this on 9gag and couldn’t think of anyone cooler in Bollywood than Shammi Kapoor who could pull off a dialogue like this.

Original 9gag post (by egshenanigans) here. Image taken from here.

 

 

 

 

Kahaan hai Karan Arjun?

Jai Ma Kali ka koi use nahin iss situation mein.

 

Apologies, in advance, for the sexist humour, but the image was too good not to use.

 

 

Alert Amitabh is Alert

This is the first time I’m making a youtube clip into a gif – the result is So much smoother. I must admit, this was just a test, I randomly inserted a video and put arbitrary time values in, but it came out so good, I couldn’t help but share.

And can I add, how fucking handsome does he look, eh?

 

Why don't men wear such handsome-ifying clothes anymore?